Woke Up Too Early Today

Posted: November 25, 2012 in The Roper Files
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Four days off; oh just think of the copious amounts of goofing off I could do.

But the logical side of my brain has been working over-time, pointing out how I should use these four days to get things done. Since I clocked off my menial job Thursday afternoon after completing my forty-hour obligation to The Job, it’s all been a blur. Shopping, laundry, raking leaves, edging and mowing the yard, picking up around the house, trips to the post office, washing my truck, changing the sheets. All of this has been interrupted only by short breaks to eat and sleeping a few hours here and a few hours there.

Found myself nodding off in front of the TV mid-evening Saturday night, so I shut off the TV, turned off the lights and decided to call it a night early. Took a few minutes of tossing and turning but I managed to get in about six or seven hours of sleep. My mind however seemed it wasn’t in the mood to shut down for the night; my sleep was interrupted by a series of weird dreams.

Dreams are funny things; they seem so real at the time then the “video quality” of them seems to deteriorate if I try too hard to recall any sequence of events. And everything happens with a “Bizarro World” sense of reasoning; I frequently do things I ordinarily wouldn’t do like drink beer or smoke cigarettes that I haven’t done in years as a matter of routine. People who have been dead for years burst into my dreams like Kramer bolting into Jerry Seinfeld’s apartment door and behave not like guest stars but regular cast characters in a sitcom. Logic or reasoning just goes flying out the window in my dreams: one night I’m still in school, the next I’m at work at a job I had 30 years ago. One thing you’ve got to understand also is that almost none of them have tied-up-in-a-pretty-bow storybook endings; usually I just wake up and they are over mid-story.

In one recent dream I walked into a bar and a friend of mine who died a few years ago was sitting at the bar. He turned around on the stool and saw me staring at him in disbelief. “Hey Brian why are you looking at me so funny for ?” Me: “I heard you were dead...” He busts out laughing loudly: “Who the fuck told you THAT?” and then turned around shaking his head and continuing to nurse his drink. I don’t remember what happened after that but that part was very real to me; woke up convinced I had actually spoken to him.

A friend of mine that I hadn’t spoken to face-to-face since the 90s passed away last June and consequently he has been haunting my subconscious in the form of being a central part of my dreams quite a bit lately. Sometimes in these dreams he has a mere cameo; in others we are still room-mates as we were back in the mid-1980’s. In one such dream we were still living together in the crumbling decaying ranch house we shared on a rural 55-acre plot of land out in the country. In the dream I opened a rotting wooden door and outside in a large pool of rainwater several large snakes the size of my thigh were coiled and hissing, ready to strike. “John!” I yelled “Get your shotgun !” He stepped outside with his 12-gauge and stood right on top of one of the immense reptiles, pinning it to the ground with his boot.

Aw hell; I don’t see nothing !” he yelled at me as he peered into the muddy water beneath his feet as the huge snake struggled to free itself. I must have woke up at that point since I don’t remember what happened next.

In another recent dream I was stuck in some BLADERUNNER/MAD MAX sort of future scenario being chased by mutant half-dog/half warthog-type creatures past grotesque mastodon-type creatures behind large chain-link/barbed wire fences bordering the rural roads I was running down. Everyone was on foot and the only people who had cars were authority figures chasing people like me down in hovering car-type vehicles that had round but three sided triangular tires turned sideways on the bottom and were equipped with laser-type lights that paralyzed the people they were chasing.

Then there was the one last night : I was burglarizing some place with some old school chums and ex-roommates. We broke into some place late at night that looked like a doctors or dentist office looking for something; money I suppose. Don’t even remember if we found anything at all.  The next day we see ourselves on the news; apparently the place we broke into had hidden cameras. On the video footage they are showing there is a full head to toe shot of me walking by the camera and I am wearing my favorite pair of sneakers, black with a white skull and cross-bone pattern.  In the dream I had taken them off at the door before I left for some no-logic dream reason and left them there. Afraid for some reason the shoes could somehow lead the cops to me ( again; Dream Logic) I am forced to return to The Scene Of The Crime and attempt to retrieve those shoes.

When I drive up to the building it is still wrapped in bright yellow “CRIME SCENE” tape and the property is still crawling with cops holding clip-boards and taking photos. My shoes were no longer by the door so in the dream I begin to panic. In real life I would have kept on driving but since I am dreaming instead I entered the door and told a receptionist behind a desk that I was there yesterday and had lost a pair of shoes and ask if anyone had found them. ( again Dream Logic at work here) The room still looked as if it had been ransacked and the reception area was a mess.

She gave me a cold suspicious stare.

Oh you were here yesterday? And for what reason?” the receptionist wanted to know loudly. The cops all looked very interested in me all of a sudden. I turned and made a break for the door but it was no use; the cops were on top of me, punching me and twisting my arms around to put the cuffs on. “Oh you came back for your shoes, huh, Einstein?”

Woke up in a panic, thirsty, short of breath and needed to take a Number One even worse than usual than when I wake up at four in the morning. I stumbled out of bed and felt my way to the bathroom. Took care of that little matter and re-entered the bedroom. This time I found the light switch; my glasses were on the dresser and much to my relief that pair of shoes was on the floor next to the dresser. Mission Accomplished! I got the shoes back! Oh wait a minute….I realized that no crime was committed, the cops weren’t after me and best of all I still had my favorite pair of shoes. All was right with my world. With those thoughts comforting me I crawled back into bed and slept for another couple of hours, this time around minus those screwy dreams of mine…

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