Stay Thirsty My Friends

Posted: May 17, 2011 in The Roper Files

Every day after work I have a glass of tea and then I take a long walk around my neighborhood. It’s the only form of exercise I ever really get; it also helps me to clear my head and think after a bad day. Process the steady flow of input. Plot, plan, ploy…something about looking down at my shuffling feet helps me to sort it all out.

Before I walk out the door I take a plastic shopping bag with me. Sometimes it takes a few minutes before I find the first one, but I always find aluminum cans when I walk. The ones that haven’t been run over yet I crush underneath the rubber soles of my Vans. On a good day I can fill up a shopping bag in about 30-45 minutes; people fling them around like it’s their God-given right. And aluminum cans are going for 70 cents a pound right now; I made a badly-needed $57 on my last trip to the scrapyard selling three fully-loaded 39-gallon bags full of crushed cans.

Looked in a dumpster and found a dozen of those large empty Arizona tea cans; I fished them out with a long stick like some kind of a carnival game. There’s nothing to do at the bus stops while you wait for our hourly bus service; so they are usually surrounded by empty “tall-boys”. I find them pre-flattened at stop signs, red lights and next to freeway on-ramps. One by one they fill my bag; as I walk down the street it starts to feel heavier. Busch Natural Light is the can I find the most often. Four Loko, Budweiser, Coors and Miller High Life are the runners-up. Frustrated pissed-off drivers fling them out one-by-one as they go home to their wives and kids after a shitty day at the job.

I do this every day if the weather permits; I get a little exercise, some sun and fresh air and each day I fill up another shopping bag full of crushed aluminum cans. I sold all of my aluminum cans a month ago and I already have another 39-gallon bag full of them already and am just starting a second one. Each bag is just a little more spending money on my next badly-needed vacation.

So stay thirsty my friends.

I need the aluminum…


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