Naw…It Can’t Be…

Posted: September 26, 2010 in The Roper Files
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First noticed this years ago while watching the local news but shrugged it off as some kind of weird Freudian brain-fart; a side-effect from looking at too much pornography perhaps.

The local newscasters refer to the part of North Texas I live in as “the Metroplex” which is their sneaky way of trying to cover two market areas (Dallas and Fort Worth) at the same time. According to Wikipedia Dallas is the third largest city in Texas and the ninth largest in the United States. Fort Worth which lies about 30 miles to the west is the fifth largest city in Texas and is the seventeenth largest city in the United States. Like all large urban areas they also are surrounded by a cluster of smaller satellite cities.


But if you look at any map and take a good look at it, there it is. (click photos to uh…enlarge)

The “Metroplex” looks like a big giant penis. Fort Worth is the head, the mid-cities comprise the shaft and Dallas on the right resembles a scrotum.

Kept this little joke to myself for years because homophobia hangs over Texas like a sword of Damocles until I heard a friend of mine say something about the PenisPlex during a conversation. “Excuse me what did you say?”

“Aw come on don’t tell me you’ve never noticed that wang on the news before…”

Insert sigh of relief here; so it’s NOT Just Me….


Was watching the local news a while back with another friend and there it was again.

A  meteorologist standing against a blue-screen weather map with a big outlined-in-white penis next to him; asked my guest “Is It Just Me or does that look like a schlong onscreen there?” Didn’t get much reaction from him until the next time he came over. “Thanks Brian for ruining watching the news with my family! Every time I see that big dong next to  the newscasters now I start laughing to myself like Beavis & Butthead and I can’t tell my wife and kids What’s So Funny.”


The PenisPlex. The DicktoPlex. Whatever you want to call it there’s no denying it’s there. If the State of Texas ever realizes this I can see a giant roadwork project being announced with the end result altering the Dallas/Fort Worth areas physical appearance to make it look more like a giant pair of boobs (“There we go; that’s better!”)


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