Torment

Posted: December 19, 2009 in The Roper Files
Tags: ,

 

Got to come clean here…I have an addiction. Oh not anything too naughty; but last year thanks in part to “K” up in Canada I have become addicted to Old Dutch dill pickle-flavored potato chips. These things go so good with a cheeseburger words fail me here; I would rather have these as a burger side any time as opposed to greasy fries. She mails me a few bags from time to time but this is awfully expensive so I have been looking and looking for someone, anyone who sells them here in the US.

We Texans love our snacks. Don’t know about where you live but here the chip aisle at the grocery stores usually spans the length of the store. Of course Lays and Ruffles dominate the snack aisle, but there are a few small shelves of their competitors. Chips are available in BBQ, salt and vinegar, green onion, “Limon” and also cheddar cheese flavors but I cannot find dill pickle flavored to save my life.

Imagine my shock when I look in the vending machine at work and there are Snyder’s kosher dill chips in the rack for 50 cents each. I usually avoid the vending machines at work; I’ve seen people stand there and sneeze all over them but I had to make an exception this week. Inserted a dollar and got two bags; ate one with my sandwich at lunch and decided to go back and get some more. Then I walk back into the lunchroom , look at the machine and find this:

 The bags have tangled up at the end of the coil; the end of the coil is penetrating one bag. The other two are hopelessly bunched up. Tried to pry them loose at first by grasping the machine firmly at the corners and shaking it; no use. Then I slip a tape measure under the door and attempt to poke them loose; this fails miserably too. Son of a bitch!

So near, so close and yet so out of my grasp.

Yeah… life’s fair ….

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