Oh Those Wacky Neighbors

Posted: June 16, 2009 in The Roper Files

april 29 2009 002

I live in a duplex.

Sharing a yard with the neighbor next door has its ups and downs. My current neighbors are okay.

They drink hard but for the most part conceal it well.

The city is doing a lot of road work in my neighborhood; replacing water and sewer pipes, widening the streets and re-paving, putting in new sidewalks etc.

Woke up one morning recently and found one of those orange and white street barriers ( “ ROAD CLOSED TO THRU TRAFFIC” ) in pieces and scattered all over the back yard. Upon inspection under flashlight I noticed each piece had a bright yellow sticker on it and on each one of those tiny little stickers in tiny print it said in plain English that “Possession or mis-use of this is a felony punishable by…” HOW many years in prison?

Think that was about as far as I got through reading; I dropped it in the grass like the hot potato it was and fetched my leather work gloves. Didn’t know how it got there but I wanted this thing out of my yard and fast.

Fortunately it was still dark; about four in the morning. All of the surrounding neighbors lights were off. Yours Truly gathered each piece of the sign and piled them up in the street next to a road barrier just like it right across the street in front of a giant ditch the city had dug the day before. As long as it was out of my yard and back in the street I figured the city workers would know what to do with it. Back in the city street = back in the city’s possession.

Later that morning I was hard at work holding down the futon in my living room when I heard the sound of heavy equipment rumbling around outside. Peeking through the blinds I could see several Hispanic city workers standing around staring at the disassembled sign in the street. A bulldozer rolled up and they unceremoniously started tossing the pieces of the sign into the bulldozers scoop on the front. The huge machine backed all the way in reverse (“… beep … beep … beep… “) to the other end of the block where I could see another crew begin to re-assemble the sign and put it up in the intersection down there. So much for that.

Ran into one of the two guys who live next door later and asked him if he knew why that sign was in the back yard to begin with. He shrugs and tells me: “Oh we were a little drunk the night before and stole it; don’t really know why …”

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