The Weekend’s Here…So What?

Posted: June 7, 2009 in The Roper Files
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“My life is a patio of fun!” – Zippy the Pinhead

Drag my ass out of bed; fix coffee. Feed the cats. Is it Monday? Is it Tuesday? What difference does it really make? Each day of my life is different and yet each day is the same.
The sun isn’t up yet; that’s still a couple of hours away. Look up and down the quiet street; nothing stirs. All the lights in every home are off. Always I hold onto some stupid hope for a brighter day, but I see lightning off to the north. Someone’s driving to and from work in the rain today.

Go back inside with the paper, turning the porch light off as I pass the switch. Just want to go crawl back under the covers; fuck this, I mean just fuck all of it. Don’t feel like doing anything today; yet I have a full solid twelve hours of doing the exact opposite of what I want lined up in front of me. Oh yes and let’s not forget the rest of the week; I’ve got three more days of this to go.
But there’s the weekend; boy the fun never stops then: laundry, shopping, yard work, house work. My weekends are as structured as my work week. Why do I look forward to them?

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Saturday is a blur much like the rest of the week. Buy gas. Go get the oil changed on my wheels where the guy informs me it’s time to get my transmission flushed. Another $125 I didn’t need; great.
Hit the grocery store. Go to one dollar store, then another. Get a badly-needed haircut. Pay this weeks batch of bills. Not one minute to relax. Driving and more driving. Buying mundane things I’ve got to have to get through the next week. Even stop at the CVS on the way home and spend $2.70 on a nice cold Starbucks Mocha DoubleShot, a luxury I seldom indulge in; I need the caffeine and the sugar. I’m a shark; gotta keep moving.

Come home, unload the truck and don’t even turn on the TV or look at the caller ID. Don’t turn on the computer. These things only keep me from getting anything done.

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The cats are at the door wanting food. I pulled up; it’s feeding time obviously. How did I forget?
Dole out some food for them and set it outside. Start unloading the truck and putting up all of my purchases.
Got new filters for the AC, my favorite toothpaste and a big bottle of my favorite mouthwash. Fresh milk and ½ & ½ for my coffee. Bread and cheese for my work sandwiches. Five big cans of cat food from the dollar store. Lots of snacks to toss in with my lunch so I don’t have to put money in the vending machines at work. There; I am set for the week.

I want to shampoo and rinse myself off from the haircut which is making me itchy but I forgot to turn on the air conditioner before I left. It’s hotter inside the house than it is outside; whoops. Turn on the air conditioner; now I need to find something to do while the house cools off. There’s only one logical thing to do… go outside and get even hotter.
Get out my new WeedEater lawnmower that starts on the first pull, which almost makes me half-erect in some scary Hank Hill sort of way. Adjust the wheels and in mere minutes I have my yard cut to regulation putting-green level. Blow it out your ass Code Enforcement; I got the neatest yard on the block. As I put the mower away the irony of mowing my yard as a form of rebellion isn’t entirely lost on me. That does it; I must be getting old.

Go back in; the house is cooling off now. Peel off and leave a sweaty trail of dirty clothes between the door and the shower. It hasn’t quite been 24 hours but between the haircut and mowing the yard taking a shower has never felt better. Dry off and head for futon without bothering to get dressed; the rotating fan above me is hypnotic. Put on a newly purchased DVD ( “The Dark Backward”) and fall asleep almost instantly. Then I remember; this is  why I look so forward to weekends.


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