That Annual Feeling

Posted: December 24, 2008 in The Roper Files
Tags: , ,

Fighting the Christmas blues again this year.

Nothing ever goes as planned; don’t know why I even bother anymore. My plans unravel as fast as I make them.

Was really wanting to go to Vancouver after Christmas and am just now realizing what an unrealistic idea that was. Flights are in the five to six hundred dollar range and then there’s the little matter of uh…winter. British Columbia is being inundated with their worst snowstorm in 15 years. The airports are closed; guess I’m confined to Texas again this Christmas it appears. Great.

Oh well friends are in from out of town; the scene isn’t all gloom and doom. But hanging around Texas wasn’t what I wanted to do this year.

Got most of my shopping done; will probably go buy more stuff later. I hate this ritual; “did I spend enough?” Christmas wasn’t really in the budget this year; I could have really used that money on things I need. And then there’s the panicky crowds in the grocery store: “Oh shit the store’s going to be closed for 18 hours-buy everything!” Oh and let’s not forget my favorite: the mindless morons yakking on their cellphones and driving like they’re lost. This just triggers my road rage. So I’m staying off the road for now.

Trying so hard to shove my usual holiday depression in the trunk. Sitting here listening to Sonny Rollins, drinking coffee and looking out the window at a grey sky seems to even it all out a bit. Not really ready for Christmas this year; don’t really want to fuck with it to be honest. The holidays have become such a ritual I want no part of.


Friends and family take the edge off a bit but there still seems to be an underlying tension in the air. Everyone’s tight for money; the shelves at the stores don’t look very empty to me. Everyone at the stores has the same tight-lipped look on their faces and I don’t think it’s just the 30-something temperatures and the biting wind in the parking lot.They’re wondering how much the gas bill waiting for them in the mailbox on their porches is going to be this month. Not to mention the phone bill, the electric bill, the water bill etc.Speak of the Devil….

There’s the mail; just heard the lid shut on the box and I can see the mailman stepping off the porch. God I’m afraid to look in that SOB. Relieved to see it’s only junk mail. Seeing a handfull of bills will set me off and ruin the serenity I’ve been working to achieve all morning.

Stay off the roads; don’t look in the mailbox. Sounds like a good two-step plan to fight holiday depression to me. What else am I forgetting?

I’ve staked a claim; this is my day off.Consider this a declaration of my sanity. This is my world and my time; I’m for once in total control and I like it. This is my ground; stay out! No one’s going to bring me down. I’ve got a baseball bat, a knife and a gun. Time to play King Of the Cloud.

Lock the door; no one’s getting in without a face full of buckshot and hollow points. Now then let’s saw that phone cord with a hunting knife. No more panhandlers wanting to borrow money. No more “friends” requiring favors that involve my dropping whatever I happen to be doing and driving over to help them. No more people who don’t really care calling me and asking me how I’m doing. Silent and I like it.

Turn off the TV. Don’t want to hear any more Christmas music; don’t want to be reminded of that unfinished shopping.


Disconnect the Internet. No more wasted time answering pointless e-mails. No more Christmas e-cards.

No more wasted time looking at nude girls and…hey wait a minute. Maybe I’ve taken this thing a little too far…hmmm…

Pour another cup of coffee; take a minute to re-consider.

Re-boot the computer; splice the phone wire back together with tape. Having another one of my moments. Merry Christmas everyone

  1. sandysays1 says:

    Give yourself a break, you’re doing fine. Want some humor to lift those blues? Visit me at and read “Claus and the Consultant,” and get some holiday laughs.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s