Posted: March 4, 2008 in The Roper Files


Wavy Gravy every four years used to nominate “nobody” for president. He would carry signs that said things like “Nobody will lower taxes” or back in 1979 “Nobody will free the hostages” for example. After a cold sober look at the candidates this year I think America really deserves Nobody for President. A few sample bumper stickers:

Nobody Will Stop the War

Nobody Will Catch Bin Laden

Nobody Cares About the Katrina Victims

Nobody Will Provide You With Health Care

Nobody Will Control Immigration

Nobody Will Bring the Jobs Back To America

Nobody Will Repeal NAFTA

Nobody Will Stop the TransTexas Corridor

Nobody Will Find the WMDs

Nobody Will Do the Hard Work of Negotiating

Shit, I could be marketing these things! Gotta go…


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