SO THIS IS LIMBO

Posted: July 10, 2007 in The Roper Files
Being forced to do something I’m not very good at: being patient. Or being a patient, take your pick. Had surgery six days ago; the surgeon told me to take a week off work.

Don’t like this. Not that I MISS work, but I am already bored enough to where going back doesn’t sound so bad. I’m using up the remaining vacation time I have for the rest of the year; not happy about that one at all.

I’m am in a stage of healing that has no shortcuts. Nothing I can do to speed it up. Been talking to other people who have been through hernia surgery and they all tell me the same thing. If I go back to work and rip something, it’s back to the hospital. Don’t need that. Sigh. Got to take it easy; got to heal.

Daytime TV even on cable is so dismal (TV Land aside) it could drive a person to work. Even around the house, I have to remind myself to take it easy. I look out the door at my yard and feel guilty because it needs to be mowed, but mowing is not something I need to be doing. Went to the grocery store yesterday; picked up a 12-pack of Cokes and  my back started to twinge. Why did I do that? Stupid!

I did it because I’m used to being able to do it, just like mowing the yard. My father had a stroke one year ago. He’s complained about not being able to move the way he used to and I know exactly what he’s talking about. Made the wrong move getting into bed the other night; something downstairs began to hurt. Gotta be careful.

Part of the problem is I drink too much coffee; can’t sit still. Can’t relax. But if I spend too much time on my back, I get back-aches. I’m a lousy patient; I have no patience.

So I sit here. It’s humid today. It’s only 80 degrees outside but it feels much warmer. Tempted to pick up the phone, start calling people. Hey, howya doin’ ?

Start bombarding my friends with pointless e-mails. But everyone else has their own lives to live. They’ve got things to do besides entertain me. So I sit here and look out the door. Listen to the birds and the occasional car driving by.

The boredom and the loneliness are driving me berserk; should be thankful I’m getting this hernia behind me. But a week of inactivity is driving me crazy.

This is why I need a job; my life has no structure. I need a schedule. Sitting here guzzling Peets and watching GREEN ACRES re-runs all day isn’t doing it for me this week.

Swatting flies and emptying the contents of my fridge.

Ho hum.

BR

 

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