DULL BUT PRODUCTIVE WEEK by Brian Roper

Posted: April 8, 2007 in The Roper Files

Easter Sunday morning 6:30am: Sitting here wired on coffee. Bored I turn on the cable TV; they’re showing the same movies that were on when I went to sleep last night. It was an extremely humid 90 degrees here in Fort Worth Tuesday; yesterday (Saturday) it snowed. SNOWED!

Went out while ago to get the paper. Still dark; the sun’s not up yet. Almost total silence out front, but I can hear geese flying above me. 40 degrees out; brrr!

Retreating quickly inside, I unfold the paper. No coupons (never are on holidays) and they called the usual two (as in no prize) lottery numbers from my ticket last night. On cable they’re running the new CGI King Kong on one channel and that 1976 turkey with Jeff Bridges looking a LOT like The Dude on another.

That Rick Baker costume… oh man stop it, you’re killing me! Ha Ha!

It looks like a slightly more sober version of the Kong from either one of those 60’s Jap classics KING KONG VS GODZILLA (1962) or KING KONG ESCAPES (1968)

My friend Baird Blanton and myself have had a private joke for years about the Jap Kong being named “Otis Kong” because that Kong looks just plain “faced” period.

Maybe it’s his bleary, blood-shot eyes, or the obvious difficulty the actor has moving around in the bulky costume. But that Kong looks plastered, hence “Otis Kong”. 

In my minds’ eye I’ve always pictured him between takes with the Kong head in his lap smoking a cigarette: ” All right, I come out of the cave; throw the rock at the helicopter.  But what’s my motivation here?”

Considering the cult following THE BIG LEBOWSKI has, maybe they should re-name the 1976 version DUDE ITS OTIS KONG! for cable. Or maybe not…

Who’s that scratching on my back door? It’s the Easter kitty, cold and hungry (what else is new?) I give her half a can of wet food, garnish it with Meow Mix and serve. There.

I sit in front of the computer and look around my swinging batchelor pad. Got wired on coffee yesterday and did six, count ’em, six loads of laundry.

Everything: sheets, blankets, my apron for work, every pair of jeans, every shirt, every sock, every towel, you name it; I washed it.

Then as if that wasn’t productive enough, I went to the store armed with a handful of coupons. Bought lots of things on sale and then compounded the savings by using coupons on the same items. Got a big heavy cartfull of stuff for $45; not bad.

Came home and unloaded all my swag and then cleaned the apartment. Dusted, vacuumed my three area rugs, cleaned the bathroom and mopped the floors.

Man, the place looks great! Smells great. Wish I could keep it this way all the time.

Having been fed, the cat wants back out. I comply by opening the door. Off she goes. Where to?

Sip my delicious coffee and look around. Damn, the place looks good. Spotless. Immaculate. Unsullied. Tidy. Neat. Just the way I like it.

Not used to having everything done; I look around. Must be forgetting something.

Mowed the yard Monday. We’ve had two nasty-looking storms blow right over and past here this week, but no rain so the yard still looks mowed.

Look around the place some more. Uncomfortable being caught up; gotta be something I’m forgetting.

Re-check the TV schedule. Here we go…GREEN ACRES and I LOVE LUCY for four hours straight on TV Land.

I can finally relax now. THIS is what weekends should be about.

THIS is why I busted my balls yesterday to get everything done. Take another sip of coffee and laugh at myself.

The things I get done on a good pot of coffee.

BR

April 8 2007

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