DRAFT THE IMMIGRANTS (a modest proposal) by Cranky the Clown

Posted: April 9, 2006 in CRANKY the CLOWN

crankers2005.gifGreetins, cretins! The debate about immigration broils on even as I peck at this keypad this week on Capitol Hill.It has spilled into the streets nation-wide; in LA last week a half-million protesters in the street.

Was it something I said? If not; doesn't matter cause I gots more, lots more to speak on this matter anyway. I think there's too many loopholes in all the good senators' proposed legislation. I'm proposing legal immigration status (and YES I have been drinking; why do you ask?) in exchange for following a few simple rules: 1. Learn to drive like us. Get rid of your SPEED RACER-looking cars, turn down the damn music and learn to drive politely, and sometimes this can be as simple as learning to use the damn turn signal. It let's other drivers know what the hell you're trying to do! And this goes double for you damn gringos, too! 2. Required military service. OK it's not a new idea; but with Bush and VP Elmer Fudd running the show for another two years, this should "thin the numbers." 3. Learn to use the internet instead of spray-painting everything that doesn't move. Who knows, it just might help ease some of the current tensions and maybe even turn around some of the recent poll numbers. Besides, I don't have enough guns and ammo and all the other shit I need stockpiled for the duration of a race war.

Cranky the Clown April 2006


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