Posted: January 18, 2006 in CRANKY the CLOWN

“Is this trip really necessary?”– an old WWII slogan

Greetins, cretins, howya doin? Cranky the Clown here back in Fort Worth after filling the CrankyMobile with swag during my Gulf Coast campaign tour.

I successfully wallpapered everything between Alabama and I-35 with my IMPEACH ‘EM ALL stickers (see the file23 store, I’m out) Getting back from Houston was a bitch; all those morons driving the wrong way on the highway and all, but I’m back and full of piss and MD 20-20 as ever!
Just got back from the gas station; I’m typing this standing up if you know what I mean. Sure does cost a lot to fill up the CrankyMobile. When I think of how much money isn’t going back into all of those little things I’m having to cut back on, each and every one that much less going back into the economy. Lets see…multiply that by the rest of the country and that adds up to…oy vey!
And you, my dear readers, should be thankful you have the comfort and safety of being separated by miles and miles of cable from the Crankster when he has to cut back on his “escorts,” MD 20-20, and other essential lifestyle elements. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but I’m not a pretty sight.
But I’m going to howl like a stepped-on cat when I have to cut back on one more thing.
Halliburton, DynCorp,Blackwater and everyone else who’s elbow-deep in the Recovery Cookie Jar could afford to put everyone in the hurricane-ravaged South back in new homes, but you and I both know when THAT’S going to happen. Now WHY did they go and cut off Marie Antoinettes’ head, someone remind me here.
I LOVE the current Blame Game in the news right now. Welcome George and Dick to your 2nd term!
It’s going to be fun watching those two having to hold their hands in the candle for the next three years. Will accountability finally rear its ugly head?
It took Cheney a week to crawl out from under his rock-whoops, I mean his VACATION to tour the ravaged areas. I think FDR could of gotten there faster in his wheelchair.
For eight years, EIGHT YEARS mind you, all we heard on the news was Whitewater this and Whitewater that. Texas own Southern-fried version of Jesse Helms (and my favorite old fart) Phil Gramm seldom, if ever passed up a sound-bite opportunity to voice his disdain for Bill Clinton, his pre-Monica Lewinsky reason being that Clinton never served in the military.
EIGHT LONG YEARS of this and the neo-cons prop up…well, we know the rest don’t we?
Everytime I’m out in the CrankyMobile and I see some asshole driving around with the Mark Of the Beast on his rear window, I want to run them off the road.
Saw former-fat-ass Jarod on TV the other day telling everyone eating at Subway is the one-size-fits-all solution to their weight problem. What he OUGHT to be telling them is to WALK to Subway instead of burning six bucks worth of gas and not moving any more than physically possible.
Jeez, no wonder three-fourths of America looks like Hungry Hungry Hippos come to life. Nobody walks anywhere any more. Mass transit in most areas of the country is disfunctional at best and thats when it hasn’t been privatized into Chapter 11 like the rail system Los Angeles had in the 1930’s.
Well, our choices are limited, I admit. Horses are illegal in the city limits where I live, so until the system totally falls apart and they’re forced to change that ordinance, my advice is either buy a bicycle or invest in some comfy walking shoes and join me as I Walk Against the Beast! Walk to McDonalds for that cheeseburger! Walk to the crack-house! Walk to the liquor store! Walk for that lottery ticket! Every step you take is a blow to The Conspiracy!

Impeach ’em all!
October 2nd 2005


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