NAPOLEON YELLOWCAKE by CRANKY THE CLOWN

Posted: December 21, 2005 in Best of file 23, CRANKY the CLOWN

by CRANKY THE CLOWN

(EDITORS NOTE: Cranky The Clown is his own man, and the opinions expressed here are strictly his own and not that of the File23 staff who all think the current administration is the greatest thing since…uh… well anyway, here’s Cranky!)

I watched the State Of the Union address last night. The perfect intro to Family Guy. Don’t know exactly what I expected other than “stay the course” and that’s pretty much what we got. Bush and that dick Cheney led us into this like General Ripper in Dr. Strangelove; we’re in it now, no turning back! Full steam ahead. Manifest Destiny.

The late great Rodney Dangerfield used to tell a joke about the guy who was half-Irish and half-Polish. He wanted to beat somebody up but he couldn’t remember who. And I think that’s what this country allowed 9/11 to turn itself into.

Who cares if Iraq had nothing to do with it? Let’s bomb ’em anyway! God, what every other country on the planet must think of us. So far, we’ve killed 30,000 Iraqis. That’s ten times the number of people killed on 9/11. Now if only they had something to do with 9/11; we would have showed them, wouldn’t we? If Bush and Cheney are so concerned with our security, why is Bin Ladin still at large? Why are they allowing knives and scissors back on planes?

And where does spying on Americans fall into avenging 9/11? And people tell me I’M crazy; this whole country is God-told-me-to NUTS. Bananas. Koo koo. Looney. Certifiably one can shy of a six-pack. It’s one thing to support our troops, but supporting pure poop is another.

So if you can see through the insanity, if you can see the emperor’s pimply nether regions, if you haven’t stopped thinking, then get off your asses in 2008 and vote Cranky.

Let’s monkey-wrench this parody of democracy with a real clown. A

And Just Say Nein to Arnold!

CRANKY THE CLOWN

December 19 2005

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