CRANKY’S COMING TO AUSTIN

Posted: October 24, 2005 in Best of file 23, CRANKY the CLOWN

Originally Posted on 10/24/2005
by Cranky the Clown

Greetins cretins, Cranky the Clown here with a very important announcement…

This weekend I’m launching my Million Mutant March on the State Capitol in protest of well, everything!

Gas prices, eminant domain, looking the other way while the immigration problem gets worse and worse, the Iraq war; hell, they’re all good reasons to march on the capital, unzip and tell ’em to sink or swim, my own favorite version of the urine test. And I’m calling on all file 23 Magazine readers out there to help with this mighty golden flow by joining me this weekend; the more the merrier!

We’ve been their clowns too long; it’s time to wipe away the greasepaint and rise as one and march against the beast starting here at home and then moving as one throbbing, pulsating ever-mutating THING Eastward Ho against the hoes in Washington. It’s time to voice our displeasure with the corporate cronyism, the lies and the bullshit piled on top of the lies and bullshit and there’s no place like home to begin this process.

And I’m calling on YOU out there who have put laid-off, shut-down, put-down and screwed around to help me stand up to the Conspiracy and say: We’ve had enough!”

Gov. Perry, this is all the warning you get. Permit? I don’t need no steenking permit!

Put your ear to the ground and listen.

Like the freaks in the rain in FREAKS we’re coming. Slithering and crawling your way, an unstoppable army of societys’ mutants, wiggling our flippers in displeasure! You’ll think Halloween got here early, but for some of us everyday is Halloween, so Trick or Treat! Smell our feet. Or else you’re something good to eat!

Cranky the Clown

EDITORS NOTE: The above editorial by Cranky The Clown is a satire and by no means reflects the views of the editorial staff here at File23, only a few of whom endorse cannabilizing our elected officials.

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